promos are coming up, and everybody is like starting studying and showing their nerdy side already! time to start :/

BUT ANYWAY, :O :O

and anyway at night i watch 我要唱下去 and that guy was really lucky to get those easy songs! and the girl contestant after him wasn't so lucky but nevermind(: all for the fun of it! sad though :/

i realised i don't have alot of chinese songs in my favouites section! :O time to find more! i'm so inspired to! especially after hearing songs like 暗恋 and 私奔到月球（：

i wish so much for so many things, but i think my life really knows how to make me do what i do, to make me feel much more than i could ever be. its a weird feeling yes, but somehow i think so. i don't think i can be what i would really want to be, because life just doesn't let me, which is a good thing (: one day i really hope i get a chance to ever write out q<rt8-A out. and that day won't come unless life lets me, with luck i will :)

lalala

yesterday 7 of us went to wanchu's house including yifei yitkhai and HCL! yay we spent like a whole day there doing cards and it was fun hahah! we took breaks in the middle including playing dota traxex vs tinker and axe vs ursa :O but only me and yifei know how to dota so that wasn't fun at all :/ the huge cute cards were super pretty! we forgot to take pictures of those huge cute cards but ohwell i bet it'd be up on the teacher's tables so we can sneak there and snap some shots next time! 

today was teacher's day celebrations! the performances weren't really nice like last time in high school :/ but anyway we went back to high school side and visited teachers, ah it doesn't feel alot different actually! (okay cos we go back to high school once every week LOL) i'm quite high today! ryan told me about bulldog poses LOL. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

MRS PHEE!

yay i ate teppanyaki today until i was really full and happy! i've gotta find more buddies to go down to jurong east with me to eat there cos there's like no where else that has teppanyaki ): 

training was really tiring yesterday, and coach kept working on timing, timing! and jerome brought his girlfriend i think. super distracting for him, he kept shooting out of turn! haha ANYWAY apparently i've gotta keep thinking of the precise timing of the steps now to help myself! (it just makes me more and more confused) 


ahhh its lateeeeeeeee now and i'm revising virus and bacteria! OKAY daren re-convinced me to take h3 so benj < daren for now (: i've gotta start priortising and the criteria is 2.6 but i can get 2! so i must work on my bio wheeeeeeeeeee. and since i confused myself into not knowing which chem tutorial to do, i shall do both! happy post teacher's day present! (:

heh today i got 1dp for nothing! ): okay lah not for nothing(: we were busy preparing for later that we got held up! so in the end i surrendered my ez link card to those people who thought we were late though we were actually in school. heh so 2 demerit points in total already! hahah 

i went to the medical talk today! angel says she's gonna suan me for the rest of next week haha roar :/ but anyway it really made me think about alot more stuff! where i'm struggling with being a normal guai student to do tutorials and listen to lectures, there's stlil so much more to learn, to know, and to be. the slide show they selected used "time of my life" which was so inspiring!! heh my mummy says i'd know what i want to be when i listen to something so inspiring to make me consider that career for the rest of my life. heh things really go so fast, in awhile it'd be the end of jc and everybody'd go separate ways.

i spent so long talking to benjamin after the med talk, mostly talking about h3 math where he half convinced me already not to take it. it seems weird that he somehow made me make 50% of the decision not to take h3 already though i've been wanting (duh) to take it since sec school. maybe till then, i didn't believe anything i love could ever and would ever pull me down so much. 

anyway kaiyun says that there won't be enough days left to promos even if we study a topic each day for promos for all our subjects!:/ heh.

its time i stopped waiting for dreams to turn into something i could believe in, but to do something for them.

okay time to continue searching for nice disney songs with ryan! HAHA :D

i have really let you down so much, but you never gave up on me.
i just wish when the day comes that i don't, you're there to tell me so.

get well soon.


just finished econs today which was a total disaster but i felt i didn't really care anymore, tomorrow's math and i haven't touched vectors for about a month and gonna take 2 tests tomorrow!

heh today everything screwed up in our favour! apart from bad econs test, no angel yang for bio tut, chem and econs lecture was normal, and we wasted 45mins in GP trying to fix some power failure thing! heh then in econs remedial ms tan was really nice to us so i'm happy! 

and i'm supposed to be more happy to take 2 math tests tomorrow but i don't feel the mood to do math at all. which is really weird, really, i should go start! i think of AADD which i need to get and i think its so impossible to get D for bio and econs. rawrr!
and i haven't bowled and i've comp next sat! nooo! ):

when we think of so much less, we could settle for so much less, and then be so much more.

I'M SO HAPPY THOUGH RUSS AND RYAN AREN'T ): chemistry spa is over and i think it was really well done, full marks isn't hard at all haha. ah but some friends didn't do too well ): nevermind work hard for A level chem paper! jiayou!(:

i'm still up now doing WR which is supposedly due for viewing tomorrow, just waiting for stuff to be sent here and there! school's getting back into pace now, with tests next week though after today's chem spa i feel so like holiday mood and according to ryan "everyday in holiday mood anyway  it makes no difference".

today after long waits 3 of us went to island! we saw stuff we shouldn't have seen and did stuff we shouldn't have done HAHA and russell's pm now is "a series of unfortunate events ending with Island Creamery! (:". heh then on the way back with ryan we were quite crazy and retarded i hope nobody recognised that we were from hci haha! 

GP TEST tomorrow): 

oh and i managed to fight my super super super extremely weird fear of close up shots of PLANTS. ARGH! HAHA. so stupid of me. but ohwell i still found a user pic and gonna use it more often! :) i find that picture really freakish but HAHA ohwell. there's so many things i achieved today in such a short day actually its one of the most mentally productive days ever! AND now that i finally managed to settle everything i'd be more of a cheerful person from now on and can focus on my two lecture tests coming up :D

i got over all your lies in just a moment of realisation that actually no matter how much you or everything meant to me things won't and neither do i want anything to be the same anymore. so much deception, so many lies for so long, and at least i managed to do what i needed to do and should have done! (: (yay refer to point about being happy:D) aw at least i didn't lose any friends, but instead made really good friends that have come to comfort me while i'm down, and normally the quote says that friends leave when you're problems but i don't hear quotes of friends arriving when you've problems! yay i'm beginning to be optimistic and so better not say i'm pessimistic anymore!

its so great to use livejournal, the controls and all are fantastic and the layout and userpics are very flexibile. (: everything's all made by me (except the layout), words pictures and all! so flexible! :D

i suddenly desire to eat fried stuff and cup noodles! super unhealthy much but i can't help it, just too tired of jc food. the past few days have been really unproductive, i did nothing much at all while waiting for 3 tests to just come and go (coming soon :/) and there's a pile of stuff in my room unsorted. i am seriously living in some cleaner and nicer-smelling junk yard! 

i had quite alot of time a few days back and i was wondering about stuff that meant alot to others, and myself. i wondered if everybody had something that means alot to them, yet not sure of whatever to do with those things. and then these few days the television always plays nice and meaningful movies, and the crux of the movies that i watch always happens when the protagonist loses sight of what he or she has set out for, and is left with nothing to fight for. but these are just movies, yet everyday in school i feel alot of people just live by day by day, making the bare minimum for each day and leaving the rest to a non-existent "tomorrow". and so really, is the indifference of everybody causing life to be so much more meaningless and bland? 

maybe its not knowing about what to fight for, but why to even bother to fight for what we know we need.

anyway, tests check!:
chem spa on thurs
econs lecture test on mon
math lecture test on tues
math vectors test on tues too.